We’ve been on a southerly ‘eading for a couple days now, cause the boys ’ave decided they’ve got to ‘crack the rock’, like they say in the Shackles toast. “Good fortune and sure sail await what one can crack the Tidewater Rock”. We’ve all ’eard it – they drink to it from Port Peril to Blackblood Cay.
Black ‘Ands an’ ‘is boys reckon that they want to see if it can actually be done. An’ tonight’s the night they’ve picked for the job. It’s a full moon out there, but it’s pourin’ wi’ rain – a nasty night fer any kind o’ business.
So the first plan’s just to sail into the ‘arbour by the big tower o’ Tidewater Rock an’ just sort o’ call out to ‘em. Perri pretends to be the cap’n, and demands entry so we can resupply. Course, the Tidewater lot ain’t ‘avin’ none o’ it, so they move up to Plan B. The usual suspects all creep up to th’ place under cover o’ a full moon, and try to sneak Perri up the latrine ’ole.
I’m not makin’ this up. It gets better – none o’ the rest of ‘em can get in, but they’re all spotted from the roof while they’re tryin’ to get the door open (none o’ them ‘as a lockpick to ’is name, o’ course). Perri scampers around inside, lookin’ fer Besmara knows what, alertin’ the whole place before ‘ee drops down the stairs into the ground floor. Now ’ee’s on one side o’ the door, an’ Bert an’ Black ‘Ands are on the other, an’ neither lot can get the blasted thing open.
The guards mighta taken a minute to rally, but eventually they get all their little men in a row, an’ some bloke called Royster McLeagh shows up. ‘Ee locks Perri in a store room, and tells the rest o’ them that ’ee’s got their cap’n, and if they don’t show ‘im their ’eels pretty smartly, ’ee’s goin’ to do terrible things to ’im. So they all slink back to the Mistress.
Time fer a new plan. They swim up to the outside o’ the tower, an’ Bert makes a whole fuss to get the eyes o’ the guard on ‘im while the others creep round the back. An’ there’s Xiao, creepin’ up the same crap chute as what they shoved Perri up earlier. ‘Ee makes ’is way through a couple guards, gets ’em all chasin’ after ‘im, and somehow makes it down to the door an’ lets the Cap’n in.
So no all ‘ell breaks loose. Somehow, Perri manages to get out o’ the cell, an’ there’s an almighty pitch-up right in the passageway. Xiao tries to swing on an old candelabra an’ lands face-first on top o’ Black ‘Ands, but somehow they made it through to the smithy, where they get in a tussle with the sergeant at arms, some moustachioed guy called Royster McLeagh. Somehow, they all manage to survive, an’ put Royster to sleep.
Not really sure what ‘appened next. They all go on up the stairs, talk to Lady Smithee, an’ five minutes later she’s engaged to Bert an’ the tower is theirs. They need to get a Free Captain to oversee the nuptials, so they’re lookin’ round for Merril Pegsworthy, seein’ as ’ee’s about the only Free Cap’n in the Shackles what’ll vouch for ’em!